Sta.sh
Watching the feathers fall
From tattered wings
How can I fly
Catch the wind
When my wings are no more?
Trapped in cruel fire
Lost and alone
In this hell for one
Marking me an outcast
On each path I've chosen
Is unspeakable
Lying in this frigid water
Straining for the surface
Drowning in front of you
To lift one up and help them
Then in the next second hurt them
Is unspeakable
On this cold hard ground
Surrounded by the shades
Of my own design
How do I hold on
When I can't reach
So close when I'm so far?
How can I cry out
Call you
When my voice is gone?
The stabbing pain
From your knife in my back
Is unspeakable
How can I grieve
When my heart
Won't let the tears come?
How can I shine
Like you say
If all you see is the dark?
How can I change
When all you say
Is that I've stayed the same?
I can't be myself
As the heart slowly withers
Leaving an empty shell...
I can't find my way
For your darkness
Has stolen my light...
I don't even know how many people actually read my journals, so this is as good a place to vent, in some way.
Not sure how I feel now. I just found out something quite...disappointing, to say the least. The short poem I included on "When Shadows Close In" just seemed to fit; it was sitting in one of my Notepad documents in my flash disk, and...I just copied it here.
That crushing feeling has returned, wanting to cry but being unable to. At the same time, another part of me feels detached, as though it doesn't matter. But to another part of me, it matters. A lot. I can't even find the words to express myself properly, when I used to be able to do so. It might be just a phase; who knows?
Drawing and writing should help, somehow. And I have a family vacation coming up, so that should help, too.
Ja.
Isolated 
